Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Here am I. Send Me.

During our worship service this past weekend, an upcoming service trip was presented to the congregation. Some details were given. Things like the date, the location, and the importance of service trips to name a few.

The couple leading the group are veteran missionaries. They have a deep desire to share the Gospel with anyone willing to listen, especially in foreign countries.

At some point during the presentation, tears began to form. My heart began to race. My heart was opened.

I have heard missionary presentations on many occasions. More than I could possibly say. But this time, something inside me insisted to be loosed.

I approached the couple after church and told them I thought I was being led to go on this trip. Through tears I expressed this desire. I hadn’t talked to my husband or my family, but I thought it was the thing to do. I was given information about the trip and walked away with a sense of peace.

At home, I approached the topic with my husband…again through tears I tried to express my feelings about this journey. He had a few questions, and was supportive in how I was feeling.

But in the end it really was about money. I’ve been out of work for two years. We are just meeting our monthly bills with his income. There is nothing to spare. Not even for a service trip.

I knew that going into it. I also knew that if this was where God was leading me, I’d have to raise the money to go and He would provide all my needs. My faith and trust in Him would have to take me to this place.

But it seemed like there was something more. The words to one of my favorite worship songs kept running through my head. Hosanna[i] by Hillsong. The bridge seems to say exactly what I’m feeling at this point.

Heal my heart and make it clean;
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like you have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks yours;
Everything I am for your kingdom’s cause.
As I walk from earth into eternity.

What has touched me through these couple of days is the fact that my heart is breaking for what breaks God’s heart. The lost.

Through my entire life, the lost have been in my thoughts and prayers. I was raised in a minister’s home. I went to Bible College. I was in local ministry for 16 years. I was on a large church staff for six years. I have lead women’s Bible studies for nearly 30 years. I know what God’s purpose and plans are for the lost.

But this service trip touched me. I was being changed. My heart was breaking.

So why should I go on this service trip?

Because Jesus’ mission should be my mission. Jesus came to seek and save the lost. (Luke 19:10) Whether it is across the world, my next door neighbor or someone living within my household, my mission should be to share the Gospel with others, in word or deed. My life should be a reflection of Jesus’ ministry and mission.

Because the world is ready. Jesus told the disciples in Luke 10:2 (NIV), “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workings into his harvest field.” There are people who are seeking God. They know something is missing in their life, they just aren’t sure what it is. I know the missing piece. I know Him personally. So get ready world, the message of Jesus is coming!

Because I can. I’m reminded of Isaiah’s words in chapter 6 verse 8. “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’” (NIV) Someone must go, and I can, so I will speak Isaiah’s words. “Here am I. Send me.” My voice will be God’s voice. My words will be God’s words. My message will be God’s message.

Because God has been preparing me for this moment. Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) reminds us, “We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” All those years in ministry, teaching and learning has led me to this moment. To believe that there is more to life beyond my tiny world of existence. God has prepared me for this opportunity. It is up to me to accept it and allow Him to work through me for His kingdom’s sake.

I have a meeting this evening with the leading couple. My questions will be answered. The mission will be presented. But in the end, I know I will be signing a contract to go on this service trip.

There are some hurdles to jump. A passport. Immunization shots. Money. But God will join me on this journey and because He is with me, I can hold tightly to His power, His strength, and His wisdom. My faith can rest assured that He will come through.

You’ll hear more of my journey over the next few weeks. I can’t wait to be able to share more details. But until then, I pray that God will break your heart for what breaks His.

Grace and peace be yours in abundance,


[i] words and music by Brooke Fraser © Brooke Fraser/Hillsong Publishing (adm in the U.S. and Canada by Integrity's Hosanna! Music)

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