Our speaker, Cindy Dagnan, was so good. I really cannot say enough about her. The Holy Spirit is so alive within this woman of God. Her message is clear. Trust God. Allow Him to fill you with His presence. Push Satan away and do not allow him to get a hold of any part of your life.
It was yet another spiritual high.
But. My flesh is weak. My flesh fails. Oh, how it fails.
In the midst of this glorious weekend in Estes Park, I found myself being ugly. Words flowed from my lips that were not pleasing to God. I know, because as soon as they were out, my heart sank. I had gossiped. And I was miserable.
I spoke with my husband a couple of times while I was away and each time he was a little cranky. Understandably cranky. He had a long day at work, he had to get up early on his day off, he wasn’t feeling well, and he needed to get some yard work done. He was tired.
But I so quickly jumped into the role of being a critical wife. My attitude took a nose dive. I chose to be a little cranky right back at him. Once again, my heart sank. I was miserable.
Satan had undone all of God’s work in just a matter of minutes.
I placed my head in my hands and cried out to God. “Please forgive me for not following You…yet again. I do not want to be this way. Please help me to change. Please pull me closer to You.”
My mind quickly went to Ephesians chapter 4. It follows the section of putting off the old self and putting on the new self. “Created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” (Ephesians 4:24) It’s a long passage, but it needs to be right in the middle of this post.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
My mouth and my attitude will get me into trouble every time. It is only with the aid of the Holy Spirit that I am a new creature, an imitator of God, with the right words and attitude.
Before I left for the getaway, this was my post on Facebook:
“Headed to women's retreat today...so looking forward to it. It's been several years since I've been able to enjoy a retreat. Awesome speaker returning as well. My prayer: Lord, fill me with You. If I am filled with You, everything else that I need or desire will be satisfied. Amen.
‘Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.’ (Psalm 90:14)”
This is still my prayer. Satisfy me.
Grace and peace be yours in abundance,